DAVID EBELTOFT is a FLIBBERTIGIBBET

car restoration basics

davidebeltoft — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 21:50:30 +0000

We all know the first step, in overhauling a rusted 1973 Chevy Nova Coupe, is to get 18in rims that are worth more than the car itself.

Seen in New Orleans, LA 2011

99 cent store: the biker mice from mars

davidebeltoft — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 20:51:53 +0000

While perusing the low priced aisles of a 99 cent store in Los Angeles, I came across The Biker Mice from Mars cookie cutter set in the baking section.

I immediately thought this was perfect canon fodder for my 99 cent store post series. If you’re not familiar with the series, click on the 99 cent store category to the right. The series is basically filled with a small but growing collection of mislabeled packages, lost in translation retail goods, and toys that boggle the mind (such as the recently posted Fire Fighting Ninja or the Time Traveling Mongolian/Native American).

At first, I thought that these were a demented attempt by Betty Crocker to entice young boys to take home-economics class in junior high. What better way to get pre-teen boys to bake than with genetically enhanced mice who, after a fruitful trip through a post-apocalyptic (think Mad Max) costume department, decide to hop on their Harley’s and save the world by popping wheelies and shooting guns loaded with black plague bullets. Actually, to the folks at Betty Crocker, the best way to get pre-teen boys to bake is to have cookie cutters shaped like Salma Hayek’s breasts. They’ll be baking angel cakes in no time.

Back to the cookie cutters: These simple thoughts of a Betty Crocker best-breasts-in-Hollywood cookie cutter edition proved to be futile. I am no journalist and have a limited set of ethics, but I do check up on my material to make sure that my hypothetical interpretations were not proven in the real world.

Turns out Biker Mice from Mars was a real life, tried and true cartoon series that lasted from 1993 to 1996! Riding the wave of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle craze, the basic plot line is about three martian mice (Throttle, Modo, and an Italian-Martian mouse named Vinnie) who really dig motocross, the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, and Easy Rider. They escaped war on their home planet (Mars of course, not to be confused with the Scooter Sloths from Saturn) and traveled to Earth to help save us from the same evil that destroyed their home turf.

That evil force is called the Plutarkians and, like most 1990′s cartoon super villain races, they are here to steal our natural resources (platinum, gold, oil, water, gravel, etc.) Evil, obese, greedy, foul smelling, and possibly with Republican endorsement, the Plutarkians bungle their way from outrageous environmental crime to the next all the while being foiled by three alien critters.

If you have 22mins to waste or are under the age of 9, or possibly a combination of both, watch the first episode of this forgotten piece of pop culture below.

newfangled website for 2012

davidebeltoft — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 15:25:43 +0000

I updated my website for all you kiddies to peruse. I went a little heavy on the icons but dammit, I just love those little circular symbols. Visit the icon-madness at www.davidebeltoft.com.

No website would be complete without a place for you to scrutinize my photography and writing projects. Several new photography galleries and writing concepts are available to be admired, or possibly mocked.

Two friends also deemed it a good time to update their sites (great minds think alike, fellas).

Check out Rod Blackhurst’s homepage with eyes ready to soak in some visual delights. Rod, a fellow film enthusiast and current director/collaborator of my You Were Once Called Queen City script, has updated his site with some great spots, reels, and images – www.rodblackhurst.com.

Camera compadre Daniel Ballesteros also updated his digs with work from his new photographic series that harkens on old tintype printing methods (think crazy chemicals). The man deserves a visit because he huffed lots of ‘mad-hatter-esque’ fumes to get his already great images to look vintage-ly sweet – www.danielballesteros.com.

99 cent store: clothing options for cutie

davidebeltoft — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:37:46 +0000

This doll comes with two outfits. 1) A nice, blue and metallic silk and chiffon full length debutante dress and 2) a slutty neoprene single strap whore inspired miniskirt. Cutie doll indeed.

holiday wishes from mr. t & mrs. reagan

davidebeltoft — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 22:01:32 +0000

Mr. T pities the fool who doesn’t have a happy holiday and Mrs. Reagan needs to consult her astrologer on whether she should wish you a happy holiday or not.

new orleans: slices from the crescent city

davidebeltoft — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 18:27:19 +0000

Images from our recent trek to New Orleans.

new orleans: food & drink

davidebeltoft — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 15:45:18 +0000

Photographic proof of our gut busting and fun filled trip to New Orleans.

Muffaletta @ Cochon Butcher & Bloody Mary @ Walter Patrolia Beer Parlor

Collard Green Ravioli, Satsuma, Bacon, & Fennel Broth @ Coquette Nola

Gulf Oysters @ Felix’s Oyster Bar

Sazerac & Curari @ Arnaud’s French 75

Blackened Louisiana Alligator @ Felix’s Oyster Bar

Sweet & Spicy Brisket Sliders @ Cochon Butcher

Duck Confit, Pinot Grigio & Rose @ Coquette Nola

Rye Whiskey @ The Spotted Cat Music Club

Green Onion Shrimp Toast & Beef Tenderloin, Creamed Spinach, Bearnaise, Crabmeat @ Red Fish Grill

attempting to harness henri

davidebeltoft — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 15:57:31 +0000

My photographic exploits have always stayed away from people. I have never really sought out to capture ‘flesh and blood’ through the lens, wanting more to discover the human condition through my writing. Possibly because my writing has taken up all four burners on my creative stove as of late that I’ve started to notice a few moments that could be categorized as photo-journalistic.

Here are five images that are trying to discover my inner Henri Cartier-Bresson.

Pink Hat & Cobwebs, Huntersville, NC 2011

Cookie Monster & Elmo on 6th Ave, New York, NY 2011

Seat 117, Fort Mill, SC 2011

Bald Man Through Seats, New Jersey Transit, NJ 2011

Curled Flag, Fort Mill, SC 2011

99 cent store: the state game – sans 49 & 50

davidebeltoft — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 03:50:57 +0000

This riveting game proves that Alaska and Hawaii are figments of our imagination. Sure, the manufacturers could include 2 more state trivia cards to include said states, but their hatred of Poi and the Inuit culture prevailed.

western NC photo trip 3: the abandoned warrior motel

davidebeltoft — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 21:00:45 +0000

The third and final post on my recent trip to western North Carolina with photographer and confidant Matt Sinclair. While traversing the old single lane highways near Cherokee, NC, we stumbled across the Warrior Motel, an abandoned and overgrown motor inn.

Lucky for us the previous owners managed to leave half of the rooms open to the elements and therefore, pesky photographers. We managed to photograph for several hours, risking the possibility of catching the hantavirus due to spending long amounts of time setting up our tripods and shots in each mold and filth covered room. Below is a smattering of images depicting this unattended photographic gem.